Propitiation (Big Word, Bigger Impact)

Feb 15

In other words, I did it, I deserve the punishment for it, but expect Jesus to take it instead. Yet, do I still even truly get it? If I don’t have to carry the pain how do I truly understand the cost? If I don’t truly understand the cost how do I truly understand my need to repent?

It came to me like this: if a child breaks a toy, loses a phone, or dings a car they will know they should have been more careful. They will deal with having to do without and even deal with the punishment that comes with the action, but until they understand how many hours a parent must work, the conditions the parent works in, and the sacrifices that job requires, they can’t understand just how disrespectful and damaging their actions truly were. Those things are what determine the TRUE cost of an item.

Just like when reading the word ‘propitiation’, how many times have I glossed or skimmed over the true torture and punishment Jesus endured? The loss of friendships, the devastating betrayals, extensive beatings, prolonged suffering, and finally His painful and lonely death (and this is only a portion of what He endured).

All of that so that I could be forgiven. And of what? What exactly do I need to be forgiven of so badly that He has to endure all of that? What great and mighty deed has been demanded of me that unfortunately involved breaking the laws of man for the greater good? Who have I been defending at the expense of lawful submission? Nothing. No one. No great deed , no princess rescued, no unselfish sacrifice. No. Just me and my everyday sins: overeating, anger, frustration, lack of respect, and so much more.

When I truly focus, study, and pray over the death of Christ I’m truly ashamed. I’m more aware. Then, I have no problem realizing my need to get on my face on the ground and express how truly repentant I am.

I learned this day that I did not need a lesson on how to repent. I needed a lesson in respect and appreciation for what was done for me. Putting God in His rightful place, immediately puts me in mine.

This year a lot of my time with God has been learning about repentance and how much I have ignored the need for it in the past. Oh, I’ve had plenty of moments I’m sorry about, truly sorry, and I try to immediately correct those and I’ll even beat myself up for QUITE a while over them (because somehow I convince myself that makes it more sincere). Yet, truly repenting before God seems to be something I had forgotten, or at least glossed over.

One morning while discussing this with God and asking to be shown how to repent properly He lead me to read this scripture on propitiation instead. I’ve read the scripture, I’ve heard the word, but I’ve glossed over it a thousand times because I didn’t truly understand (nor could I easily pronounce it) so I just skimmed it and moved on. This day however, God said to focus and the scripture I think I love the most about propitious is 1 John 2:1-2.

My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. And He Himself is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the whole world.

I also had to look up the word propitiation to better understand what it meant. My Bible describes it as: