Fear Keeps You Comfortable
Do you ever wake up angry for no reason? Why can’t I just wake up today, start the day, and go about my business as usual?
It is a weird feeling to wake up with an emotion about the coming day with no idea what it has in store. Yet, here I am, angry, right off the bat. This is anger is different though, not one of those ‘I woke up on the wrong side of the bed’ type of things. As the sleepy haze clears and the anger does not leave with it, I realize this is more than just an emotion.
It becomes clear that I woke up angry about fear. For whatever reason today is the day my spirit said “no more.”
Too many times in my life, I have cowered to someone, fearing their reaction. I have shrunk myself because I was ‘too much’ for someone else to deal with. And today I am angry about it. Angry about what I have missed because I was protecting someone else's comfort zone. I was more concerned with keeping them placated than following my heart, and I am not doing that anymore. I have decided I will no longer shrink myself to keep them happy.
Determinations set in for me to figure it out. I decided to list all the circumstances in my life where I have been shrinking away because someone else either does not like it, does not agree with it, or it simply makes them uncomfortable.
BECAUSE I REFUSE TO ALLOW SOMEONE ELSE’S COMFORT ZONE TO CONFINE ME ANY LONGER!
Thoughts flowed, anger bubbled, and I became increasingly determined to take back my strength! I could list the dozens of current circumstances to be angry about. All the times that I have said no to something because I did not want to make someone uncomfortable, or because I simply did not have the strength for the fight, filled my mind and soul with increased anger.
But, instead of listing all those things and dragging this on and on, I will just say this: It is me. I am the one who keeps sabotaging my own efforts. My fear is keeping me in a comfort zone. My fear of the reactions is on me, not the other person. I am the one who has allowed my comfort zone to be decided by theirs. Allowing their emotions, fears, and personal discontent to create the boundaries of my life. That is not on them, it is on me.
So, the bottom line is that today I woke up mad at myself. I remember learning a lesson a long time ago to never decide a matter based on fear. If I lean toward not taking action because of fear, then you best believe I am going to force myself to take brave action instead. If I am going along with or taking an action because I am afraid to say no, then I need to stop myself, recognize the fear, and refuse to continue. It seems I forgot this lesson and need to get back into this mindset because that is where I find joy and peace. Dear God, I need both!
What if today I keep fear in check and only allow it to help decide choices when danger is involved? Yes, it could ruffle feathers and cause tension for those who use fear as a tactic to manipulate—but what if it serves to encourage their bravery as well? Or that of someone else?
Tomorrow, this may all seem silly, and that is okay. Today, bravery wins and people-pleasing loses. And I think any day that happens is a good day!
“The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe. ”
“ Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” ”
