Take Your Seat
Scripture Reading: Judges 11-28
Topic: God has a place for you
Key verse: Judges 11:3
" Then Jephthah fled from his brothers and dwelt in the land of Tob; and worthless men banded together with Jephthah and went out raiding with him."
He made a table:
Jephthah, who is called a mighty man of valor, experiences being pushed out of his family by his half brothers in Judges 11. (If you ever need help realizing your family is not as abnormal as you think just read about some families described in scripture.) Anyway, Jephthah found a group of what is described as "worthless" men. They banded together to partner with Jephthah. Later, the elders asked Jephthah to come back and lead the defense in a battle against an enemy threatening his homeland.
God created a group who connected with Jephthah until the time was right for others to acknowledge his rightful place. Who others considered worthless; God allowed to be part of something much bigger. Maybe these "worthless" men needed something worth believing in to be motivated to act for a greater good.
In our circles, sometimes we are waiting for what God says about us to be recognized by others. And then sometimes, we must find peace in knowing that our perfect place is where we are alone with God for a season. Then at other times, He intervenes and surprises us with a place of honor we do not deserve or expect.
If you follow my socials, you may have seen that I recently (and a bit reluctantly) announced that I plan to release a book later this year. I say reluctantly, because putting myself out there for the world to see is not on my list of favorite things. I’m pretty fond of “raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens”, not so much putting my life on display. You might hear me say frequently that “life is less about making me happy and more about making me holy.” I believe that completely. Situations and seasons that stretch us also grow us. These seasons can make us trust God more than we did before.
Although this season is making me rely on God more and is stretching me it has been more than that. I recently had a conversation with someone influential in my life and what she said caught me off guard. Then it dawned on me that a lifelong prayer was answered without me recognizing it.
What she said to me was,
This phrase came up in the middle of a conversation about my book and my concerns about my book. She read it and seemed confused about why I kept having the worries she had the misfortune of listening to me whine about for a year now. She explained nothing in my book was theologically wrong in her opinion and it did not seem to be offensive, so what was I was so worried about? Then came the words that have stuck with me for several days now. “I think you have been sitting at the wrong table.”
The phrase almost made me speechless. It was like she read my mail, so to speak. Mail that I had refused to read. I didn’t want to admit I had been sitting at the wrong table for most of my life. Honestly, what I did not want to admit is that there had never been a table I felt welcome at. Sometimes because of other people, but often because of my insecurities.
A few people in my life believing I didn’t deserve to be at their table should not make me believe I didn’t belong at any table. Silly, I know. (Tell me I’m not alone in over-internalizing things)
No matter the reason that I didn’t feel comfortable; the fact was, I didn’t. So, instead of trying to find a table I was comfortable at, I just kept making new tables. Partially to keep me too busy to actually sit at a table. If I keep building, preparing, inviting, serving, cleaning up, and all the other things that go along with inviting people to your table–then I will not have to find out if the ones sitting at it like me or not. So I either showed up to no tables or I made tables for others who didn’t feel they belonged anywhere else. I would love to say that I was the opposite of people who made me feel unwelcome, but don’t we all, at some point, become what we hate the most because it’s what we know? We go through a process of becoming what we hate before we suddenly see that horrible person in the mirror and then course correct and get our act together. Or, at least, that is what I seem to do from time to time. She’s not attractive at all. Why do I keep meeting her in the mirror? It seems like I should finally learn my lesson.
That’s the thing about lessons, though. Some of them–if we learn them and move on–we forget how it felt on the other side and end up forever being that horrible person. Yeah, some lessons are best to meet face to face occasionally, so we stay sensitive to what others are experiencing.
After pondering my friend’s comment, I faced the reality of sitting at the wrong table. But the best part about it was that it made me realize that while I had been sitting at the wrong table, I no longer was! And I had not even been aware of it! For so long, I kept trying to sit in chairs that didn’t fit me at tables that were not meant for me. Constantly feeling like Goldilocks and hopping from one to the other, I am finally somewhere that I fit. The goal now is to not fall asleep and forget the mission. I’m not exactly sure what mission Goldilocks was on other than to get back home and what breaking chairs, stealing porridge, and sleeping in strange beds had to do with it but I think at some point in our lives we could all have said “me too Goldilocks, me too.”
So here’s what I want to ask you:
How comfortable is your chair right now? How welcoming is your table? Do the people you surround yourself with feel like home, or do you feel on edge? How many times have you walked up to the table to find out you are the topic of conversation in hushed tones? Or how many times have you had a success that someone turned into a competition or opportunity to belittle you? If this describes your table, I would like to offer you the words of my friend. “I think you’ve been sitting at the wrong table.”
I want to share hope with you.
In the last few years, God has shown me a table where He has created a place card with my name on it. One with exquisite hand-formed calligraphy and embellishments that speak to my soul. You know when someone gets you a present that fits you so well you feel like they have been reading, not just your mind, but your emotions and your soul? That is how I feel about this personal invitation to this beautiful table filled with my people. And I am theirs. No competition. No gossip. No one telling me I am too much. There is support, encouragement and loving accountability that grows me into the person He created me to be.
I will say what I always do. You are welcome to my table. But, more than that–I pray you find the perfect table for you, wherever that might be. He has a spot for you. A spot where you will be embraced! (Unless you’re not a hugger and then maybe you’ll get an excited high-five or something.)
Father, El Roi, The God Who Sees Me, I pray for the woman reading this right now. She needs to know You see her. She longs for the place with her name on it handwritten by You. I lift her to You and ask that You show her the way where she is welcome and loved. More than that, where her table eagerly anticipates her arrival! No one is rolling their eyes when she gets there. She will not arrive to find whispers behind her back. She will walk up and hear cheering and joy at her arrival.
If she is currently at a table that is not right for her, I pray You reveal this to her with a sense of urgency and she does not hesitate to boldly stand no matter the talk that may happen because of it. I pray she run–-or even dance-–her way to where You have her seat waiting.
We love you, Father. We worship You as the creator of all good things. And we humbly realize that our place at the table has nothing to do with how good we are or what we have accomplished, but simply because You are our Father and You allow us to sit with You no matter how ugly, grungy, and unprepared we are.
Thank you, El Roi, for being the God who sees us.
Amen
“But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.”
